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alasanonWhen you find yourself faced with an alligator, spread butter on its tongue for a quick and more slippery death.
Grease your fingers with butter before trying to bake a pineapple-upside-down cake. It'll keep the pineapple rings fresher.
If you happen to be on a hot air balloon ride and are forced to jump ship while several hundred feet in the air, make certain to have butter with you. You are toast no matter which way you look at it, and you might as well have a tasty spread ready for when you hit.
A nice coat of butter will function as an excellent floor shine. Be certain to wash it off before it goes sour, however, or you'll be very sorry.
Rancid butter makes an excellent mugger repellent. Smear it on your face and hair before leaving the house, and neglect no inch.
Spread butter on your sweetheart's ears in the middle of the night. I don't know what effect this will have, but I'm certain it will be interesting.
Butter and a mixture of cough syrup and eggwhite can be used for no known human purpose. I cannot guarantee results of any sort.
Drink melted butter before running around the block at three a.m. for REAL EZ-GREASE action on your intestines.
Butter, frozen and shaved into tiny flakes, makes an excellent substitute for snow in moderate climates. Try making a butterman or butterangel. You won't thank me.
For a real taste treat, substitute butter for gelatin in your next recipe. Mmmm, mmm, good, and the texture is just divine.
All right, we're done now. Sorry about that.
-the management.
Grease your fingers with butter before trying to bake a pineapple-upside-down cake. It'll keep the pineapple rings fresher.
If you happen to be on a hot air balloon ride and are forced to jump ship while several hundred feet in the air, make certain to have butter with you. You are toast no matter which way you look at it, and you might as well have a tasty spread ready for when you hit.
A nice coat of butter will function as an excellent floor shine. Be certain to wash it off before it goes sour, however, or you'll be very sorry.
Rancid butter makes an excellent mugger repellent. Smear it on your face and hair before leaving the house, and neglect no inch.
Spread butter on your sweetheart's ears in the middle of the night. I don't know what effect this will have, but I'm certain it will be interesting.
Butter and a mixture of cough syrup and eggwhite can be used for no known human purpose. I cannot guarantee results of any sort.
Drink melted butter before running around the block at three a.m. for REAL EZ-GREASE action on your intestines.
Butter, frozen and shaved into tiny flakes, makes an excellent substitute for snow in moderate climates. Try making a butterman or butterangel. You won't thank me.
For a real taste treat, substitute butter for gelatin in your next recipe. Mmmm, mmm, good, and the texture is just divine.
All right, we're done now. Sorry about that.
-the management.
