Tuesdays...
3/25/03 01:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alasanon...do not want to look anymore.
I still seem to be running away as fast as possible from any attempt at a social life. I do not know why this is.
Today I had a moment of peculiar clarity, as though under a fathom or two of perfectly clear water. Everything was beautifully lit (though very gray), and seemed indefinite and strange and it occurred to me (again) that everything past a certain point in my life felt unreal and dreamlike. All the people, all the events, all the traveling, the wandering, the jobs, the studies, everything...
Just a long, long dream that I can't ever wake up from.
There isn't any disappointment in that feeling, no resentment. I'm pretty happy with this dream, and would feel direly upset were I to wake up and find that I'm actually someone else, somewhere else.
It just doesn't seem very real, that's all.
I still seem to be running away as fast as possible from any attempt at a social life. I do not know why this is.
Today I had a moment of peculiar clarity, as though under a fathom or two of perfectly clear water. Everything was beautifully lit (though very gray), and seemed indefinite and strange and it occurred to me (again) that everything past a certain point in my life felt unreal and dreamlike. All the people, all the events, all the traveling, the wandering, the jobs, the studies, everything...
Just a long, long dream that I can't ever wake up from.
There isn't any disappointment in that feeling, no resentment. I'm pretty happy with this dream, and would feel direly upset were I to wake up and find that I'm actually someone else, somewhere else.
It just doesn't seem very real, that's all.
